Final feast - final chinwag. tell us who you've got on the guest list
Definitely my mum and all my family, plus all my ex-girlfriends. That should be a giggle.
More than a giggle. would that make it a small, select gathering or a coach party, we wonder? tell us where the rave is
In an old, large country house in the middle of the Scottish Highlands.
You won't need a visa, then. By the way, how are you making your entrance?
In a luxury yacht with a jucuzzi full of Champagne.
Which you'll be reclining in. Are you drinking any of the golden fizz?
Sort of. I'll have a glass or two of French 75 (Champagne, gin and lime), thanks.
Different. And the grub?
Black cod fish fingers, lobster and truffle mash and a big tub of lemongrass ice-cream.
Millionaire's comfort food. Who's doing the cooking?
Jason Atherton - a talented chef whose food I've never eaten - and Pete and Tracy, my flatmates (I eat like a king when I'm at home).
drinks, bread, cheese?
Grüner Veltliner. Onion focaccia - yummy! Cheese - yuck!
Steady. How about coffee?
Kopi Luwak coffee from South Africa with home-made fortune cookies dipped in white chocolate.
But you know what's about to happen! sounds?
Gipsy Kings, The Closest Thing to Crazy by Katie Melua, and Elvis.
uh-huh-huh. any flowers on the table?
Anything orange and yellow - my favourite colours.
What about threads?
White shirt, jeans and flip-flops - nothing flash.
any After-dinner speakers?
Michael Caine and Sean Connery.
Any other entertainment?
A game of Twister.
Are there any critics you'd like to turn away at the door?
None - they're all welcome.
And something foodie which we could remember you by?
Chilli-salt squid, duck and watermelon salad, Chilean sea bass, Shaoxing wine.
Ian Pengelley is head chef at Pengelley San, London Carlton Tower hotel (opening January 2005)