In the workplace and at home there are bound to be times when you want to make people do what you want. So how exactly do you do that? Well, the simple answer is that you can’t unless they want to. So the question now becomes “How do I get them to want to do the things I want?” This is where influencing skills can be useful. Here are some simple tips on how to influence others so that you can achieve your desired results.
1. Have a reason
Before you start using your influencing skills, know exactly what you want to achieve. Think about the benefits of your intended outcome for both you and the other party. Consider why they would want to be influenced.
2. Think about the other person’s point of view
Start by acknowledging that the other person may look at things slightly differently. They may have different motivations and focuses. If you think about these factors and respect them, you increase the power of influence.
3. Gain rapport
By mirroring the other person’s body language, gestures, tone, speed and use of language you can gain rapport. People are more comfortable with things that are familiar to them and if they think that you have common attributes, so much the better. Then, when rapport is established you can start to lead them and they will copy you.
4. Seek agreement
It is very easy to create conflict just by the words you say. If, for example, you disagree with someone you might say “I understand, but look at it like this”. Instead of using “but”, try using “and”. You will find that this is less confrontational and is a subtle way of seeking agreement.
5. Suggest instead of tell
If you are facing tough opposition from someone, don’t tell him what to do as he will just become more defensive. Instead, suggest it and he will take on your suggestion as a choice and not as your command. For example, say:
- “Have you thought about it this way?”
- “I was with someone the other day and they did this and it worked.”
- “You probably know this already…”
- “As an option...”
- “Can I suggest that…?”
- “This may make it easier...”
6. Be confident
The way you stand and sit and the way you give your message will be more important than the words themselves. If you beg or plead or are unconvincing you will have little hope of success. If, however, you are certain and speak confidently, your message will have much more impact.
7. Keep your promises
The influencing process doesn’t stop when you have finished the conversation. You need to keep any agreements you have made. Remember that influencing is a two-way process and if you take the lead with the other person, as opposed to forcing them to do something, this is will make the process easier.
Produced by Caterer-online in association with learnpurple.