There's nothing like a couple of cold pints
More than 50 holiday-makers are toasting John Smith's bitter and Foster's lager, after the brews prevented a major fire sweeping through their hotel as they slept.
A fire that broke out underneath a hotel bar was quickly doused by 22 gallons of the beers when the flames burnt through pipes. The fire had started from a cigarette thrown into a bin behind the bar area.
Lee Morey, a partner in the 34-bedroom Sands hotel at Sandown on the Isle of Wight, said: "Fosters and John Smith's certainly helped saved the day. Had the beers not doused the flames, the situation could have been much worse."
Not from the vegetarian section, then...
No jokes about waiters and things in the soup, please.
Leading supermarket chain Tesco is carrying out an investigation after a shopper at its store in Barry, South Wales, found a live grasshopper in a pre-packed salad. What's worse, the shopper, Eleri Nicholas, had already eaten half the packet.
Tesco, not surprisingly, said it was "very concerned" at the find.
Gotta love those hot chocolate salty balls
Singer and composer Isaac Hayes is set to open his third restaurant in the USA. The hot buttered soul man has worn many hats on his famously bald head, but it's the big white one that's recently drawn the most attention.
Hayes reached a whole new audience as the voice of the South Park cartoon character Chef, king of the school cafeteria, serving up impromptu sexy ballads and pearls of wisdom to the potty-mouthed kids.
Real-life customers will have to wait to see if Hayes appears in character when his third upscale barbecue restaurant opens in Jacksonville, Florida, later this year.
Shareholders' meetings ought to be... colourful
An Australian company became the world's first brothel to be listed on a stock exchange last week. About 1.4 million shares in the company, called the Daily Planet, changed hands and their value doubled on the first day of trading.
Its bordello, in a Melbourne suburb, touts itself as a recession-proof, five-star hotel. The venue has a bar lounge and 18 themed rooms, with names such as Venus and Xanadu.
Some of the rooms have beds and heavily chlorinated spas big enough to be enjoyed by several guests at a time. Rooms cost A$115 an hour and guests pay call girls directly.
Hollywood madame Heidi Fleiss, who served a jail sentence for running a prostitute ring, was hired to publicise the flotation. She said: "What they're doing in Australia is very forward-thinking. I don't recommend prostitution as a career, but it's never going to stop. Men are always going to lie and cheat."
Not in business, surely...
Obviously a thief of a different stripe
A thief who stole an ornamental tiger from an Indian restaurant broke in again to return it.
After the three-foot figurine had been taken from the Eye of the Tiger curry house in Bournemouth, the owners appealed in a local newspaper for its return. Last Tuesday, the thief scaled a wall at the rear of the premises and left the statue by a bin.
Owner Ramjan Ali said: "We are so happy to have our tiger back. It is one of a pair we have had since we opened 11 years ago."