Election predictions are on a roll
Forget swingometers and cagoule-clad clipboard holders in the high street - at last there is a poll people can really get their teeth into. London sandwich maker the Daily Bread last week launched its Electoral Roll Poll. It has developed rolls representing the three main parties (Conservatives, ham and Cheddar; Labour, free-range egg and bacon; and the Liberal Democrats, tuna and cucumber) as well as their new rival, Veritas (mascarpone and caramelised peach croissant). Each roll will be clearly identified with a party-coloured rosette, and sales will be monitored on a daily basis. Results will be posted on www.dailybread.ltd.uk to show the flavour of the electorate's thinking. On the Monday before the General Election, Daily Bread will confidently forecast the winner based on the total sales figures in the weeks leading up to it.
Cross-Channel boss sails close to the wind
Perhaps he'd already had a glass of the golden bubbly, but Champagne Ruinart's president, Bernard Peillon, capsized while attempting to negotiate the admittedly tortuous waters of the English language the other week. Congratulating the three finalists in this year's Sommelier of the Year competition - who had just been through a rigorous and nerve-racking series of skill and knowledge tests in front of a large group of spectators - he thanked the trio for "exposing yourselves to the audience". Perhaps he's got x-ray eyes, 'cos no one else spotted any flashing.
Worst chef must be British to the core
In a monument to mediocrity, Channel Five is on the lookout for the worst chef in the country. To ram the point home, a press release arrived last week titled "The hunt is on for Britain's worst chef in Britain". So if you live in France, don't bother applying. TV producer Mentorn is searching for chefs from the "Gordon Ramsay school of customer service" whose dishes are mouthwatering for all the wrong reasons. But Mentorn assures us the programme isn't about humiliation, but help. To nominate a kitchen nightmare call 020 7258 6709 or e-mail chef@mentorn.tv.