What's the grub?
A choice of spit roast - suckling pig, spring lamb, anything "on the stick" - and lots of potatoes. Cheese would be Pérail de Brebis and Munster.
Something to get the evening going?
Five or six small shots of the local slivovitz (plum brandy) from my home village, followed by a few beers, then whatever is handy...
Where would we find you?
In the fields back home at Gladnice, Serbia - the name means "hungry village".
What would you make your entrance in?
The place hasn't changed as far as transport is concerned, so I'd have to arrive on shanks's pony.
Who's in the kitchen?
All of those I've had to slave for, just to show them how to have a good time and relax while you are cooking.
What about wine?
After the opening session it really wouldn't matter much.
What's in the bread basket?
Corn, soda, granary.
Which 12 people would you invite to your Last Supper?
Tony Blair, George Bush, Saddam Hussein, Robert Mugabe, Gerry Adams, Slobodan Milosevic - on one side. On my side the most beautiful women on this planet (including my wife, Cristina) so I could have fun while they got on and killed each other.
Mood music?
Bit of everything - jazz, blues, reggae... even folk. Played by Pink Floyd, REM, Bob Marley, Louis Armstrong and Nirvana.
What's the dress code?
If it was up to me, birthday suits - but my wife would be there!
Who would you have as your after-dinner speaker?
Well, as a future president, I would have to give the mike to me!
And to round off the meal?
Turkish coffee, and pigs' cheeks instead of petits fours, with Tokai.
Which of your dishes would you like to be remembered for?
Anything that had a pig in it - perhaps stuffed pig's tail with sautéd frogs' legs.