Good week
Bare buttocks German naturist Peter Englert flogs his nude holiday firm for £1.8m.
Lobsters English barrister designs £2,000 CrustaStun contraption to stun them to death rather than boiling them alive.
Dodgy geezers Five million Brits buy £1b-worth of stolen goods in pubs every year.
Cybermen Park Plaza, Cardiff, lays on Doctor Who weekends for punters, featuring 3ft-high blow-up Daleks.
Poor students Pot Noodle to relaunch as, er, health snack.
Bad week
Spurs Was Arsenic Wenger really behind their food-poisoning incident before the all-important last match of the season?
Lassie and Rin Tin Tin Prince Henrik of Denmark reveals his penchant for dog meat - fried and grilled.
Mickey and Ronald Curtain falls on the Disney and McDonald's Happy Meal marriage.
Smarties Replaces blue with white after failing to find a natural dye.
Chubby American kids Coca-Cola, Pepsi and Cadbury-Schweppes agree to stop hawking their wares in US schools.