Crisis? What crisis? This lot will last for years...
The place to be in a time of crisis is the House of Commons, where the hospitality wine cellar holds drink stock worth a cool £1.5m - about 37,000 bottles, according to junior Foreign Office minister Bill Rammell in a Commons written reply last week. Imagine having the pick of that little lot.
Squab squabble has activists at full throttle
Animal rights activists say German restaurants are illegally serving up strangled baby pigeons. Restaurateurs say the birds are strangled at the age of six weeks to produce a "tender gourmet dish". The manager of one exclusive Frankfurt restaurant offered them as "a delicacy for special occasions because they are much more succulent than other pigeons". But the Animal Protection Society can't see it. They reckon people eat them for the thrill of knowing how they died, rather than the taste.
Paying over the odds just isn't his bag
David Young, the AA's recently departed chief inspector, took himself to Harvey Nichols not so long ago in pursuit of a small truffle. The shop assistant duly weighed the smallest available and pronounced its price to be £12. "Now take it out of the bag, please, and weigh it again," said Young. Price now? £8. Real connoisseurs do not pay £4 for polythene bags.
With a Tardis in each room, no one'll be late for dinner
You know the types - they look normal, they act normal, but they hide a dark secret. Self-confessed Dr Who fan Ken Ellington, otherwise known as the general manager of the Swallow hotel in Stockton-on-Tees, wants to share his enthusiasm in the year of the TV character's 40th anniversary. He is offering time travel-themed conferences to entice more business to the hotel, complete with a Tardis, Cybermen and Daleks, courtesy of a local theatrical supplier.
All these people ever do is complain
Whingers-united.com is a new website designed to attract genuine complaints about poor service and quality from members of the public who might not otherwise vent their spleen.
The site offers a professional letter-writing service and a league table of complaints and how they've been dealt with.
Director Ron Monk said the idea was to provide a voice for anyone who is intimidated or finds it hard to put a well-worded and well-deserved complaint in writing. "Complaints received from reliable sources show that the public is justified in complaining about poor standards," he says confidently. Ooooh, I bet that's got you quaking in your boots.
No gentlemen callers, thank you
How refreshing to discover that Hilton really knows what the modern business girl wants in life. In response to the increase in numbers of female executives from 1% five years ago to 11% today, the London Hilton Park Lane is refurbishing its 22nd floor as a women-only zone. Improved safety measures include a private check-in to ensure discretion when issuing keys. By April the floor will come with floral furnishings, powerful hairdryers and copies of Vogue magazine in every room.