What's on the table?
Nico Ladenis's hot foie gras with caramelised orange salad to start, followed by our home-roast Sunday lunch, made with help from the children. Dessert would have to be a really good lemon tart followed by Epoisse de Bourgogne cheese.
Something to get the evening going?
I don't do cocktails. Gosset Champagne will do fine.
Does that mean we'd find you holed up in Ay, then?
No. The Old Mill stretch of the River Kennet in Berkshire.
Aha - making a splashy entrance on a royal barge perhaps?
Damon Hill could drive me in an F1 car (unless it was raining, in which case Michael Schumacher could drive!)
OK. Who's cooking the dinner?
Charlie and Milly, my two children (aged eight and four), who like nothing better than a day in the kitchen.
Any glugs to complement the food?
D'Yquem with the foie gras, white Burgundy, then more Gosset.
And is there anything in the bread basket?
Focaccia
Who are you sharing the evening with?
My wife, Michele, Charlie and Milly, Michelle Pfeiffer, Rolf Harris, Steve Davis, John Cleese, Tony Robinson, Chris Yates, Barry Sheen (bring him back for the day), Fish [erstwhile lead singer with Marillion] and Nico Ladenis.
Who's sitting next to you?
Michele and Michelle.
Any vibes?
Clutching at Straws performed by Marillion with Fish back in the line-up.
How about a bit of table decoration?
White lilies.
And the dress code is?
Gardening clothes.
Right, we're on to after-dinner entertainment now. Who's on the bill?
Ian Botham.
Anything else to keep the troops happy?
A Scalextric tournament.
Good job Damon's only dropping you off. So, what's going to keep you awake at the wheel?
Espresso with macaroons - and we'd need more Champagne for the podium celebrations.
And what about a dish to remember you by?
Just to be remembered would be nice.
Martin Hadden is group executive head chef, Historic Sussex Hotels