Cardsharps in Coventry, Celine Dion seasons on Blackpool Pier, high-rollers in High Wycombe, Goodfellas whacking wiseguys in Wolverhampton... Step aside, bingo - the casinos are coming.
OK, so my imagination might be running away with me, but it's a fact that imminent deregulation of our gaming laws looks set to pave the way for Las Vegas-style gambling resorts up and down the land.
Under the terms of the archaic Gaming Act 1968, UK casinos must operate as private members clubs, with a 24-hour statutory interval between taking out membership and starting gambling. Given such restrictions, it's no surprise that fewer than one in 20 of us currently frequent casinos.
By dragging the law into the 21st century, the Government should spark a casino boom that could be worth as much as £3.5b by 2009. Gala, Rank and other domestic gaming companies are likely to open a raft of new stand-alone casinos in towns and cities. Far greater inward investment could come from US giants such as MGM Mirage and Las Vegas Sands, which would look to establish gaming resorts spanning casinos, hotels and food and beverage outlets. Existing operators in areas that attract casinos would also stand to rake in profits.
And all of these developments would spawn job opportunities galore.
Yet, the Government risks squandering all these employment and investment opportunities if it fails to create a sufficiently liberal climate in which the gaming industry can operate.
The Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, Tessa Jowell, aims to introduce updated gaming legislation before the year is out. But early hopes that it will take a wholly liberal approach now seem unfounded. The new bill is expected to give local authorities the power to veto new casinos in their areas; to establish a powerful new regulator, the Gambling Commission; and to place tough controls on numbers of gaming machines.
These measures are doubtless sensible, but the minister must think very carefully before overloading forthcoming gaming legislation with checks and controls that may act as a deterrent to US gambling companies moving across the Atlantic and investing here.
For those of us who view the casino market as a potential cash cow for the UK hospitality sector, now is the time to grab our lucky rabbit's feet, cross our fingers, and hope the anticipated boom is allowed to materialise.
While we're at it, how about we all wish for a Celine Dion veto clause in the legislation?