Let's set the scene. Where will you be?
On a hillside overlooking Cassis.
Plenty of Kir Royales on tap, then?
No cocktails. Just Krug Clos de Mesnil, please.
Not a bad idea. Tell us, how you are getting to Cassis?
On a magic carpet.
We like it. Mood music?
Jazz - the Keith Jarrett Trio playing stuff from The Melody at Night, With You album.
Okey, dokey. Now tell us about the grub...
Freshly grilled red mullet with tapenade and small cherry toms, herbs, culotte of Pyrenean lamb (on a slow r“tisserie). Nectarines, peaches, raspberries, vanilla ice-cream and honey madeleines. Plus some British cheeses: Colston Bassett Stilton, Little Ryding, Lincolnshire Poacher.
Sounds perfect. Who's cooking?
Georges Blanc. He embodies everything about cooking that I respect.
Wine with the dishes?
Domaine Tempier Ros‚ with the mullet, Chave Hermitage with the lamb. Billecart-Salmon Demi-Sec with the pud.
Is there any bread on offer?
Kaiser baguette from Paris. And sourdough from the Acme Bread Company in San Francisco.
Who's on the guest list?
My wife, Athene, and children, Calum and Ella; the travel writer Eric Newby to equate with my wanderlust; Fausto Coppi, because of my passion for cycling; Olegas Truchanas, the Austrian landscape photographer; Richard Whittington; a couple of friends from Sydney and one also from London.
And who's next to you?
My wife, naturally.
Naturally. Have you got any flowers for her?
Just the wild ones on the hillside.
What's everyone wearing?
Anything cool and comfortable - the Australian way.
Are you planning to invite any critics?
No. They're banned. They wax too lyrical about the importance of nothings.
Who's the after-dinner speaker?
Nelson Mandela.
Any other end-of-evening entertainment?
A DVD of Finding Nemo to occupy the children and give the adults time to talk in peace.
Coffee and liqueur?
Tisane for me and good espresso for the rest, followed by a fine Cognac or great vintage port.
n Julian O'Neill is head chef at Quaglino's, London