Muzak. Elevator music. Call it what you like, it's bad. Very bad. All you perpetrators out there, and we mean all you hoteliers who think panpipes versions of every song ever written is appropriate background noise, desist immediately! Not only does it drive your customers mad, but please, think of the staff.
Some clever people in the industry, however, reckon the right sound can actually help to extend their brand. So listen up: it might have been about the T-shirt in the 1980s, but in the noughties it's all about the CD.
Not everybody gets it right, though. The Savoy's Lounging With Fairmont II CD features "timeless jazz tracks" by "artists from the very top of the music profession". We're with you on Aretha Franklin's Unforgettable and Ella Fitzgerald's Stomping at The Savoy, but Celine Dion? We don't think so.
Funky hotel group Malmaison has just released its second disc, Sound Affect 2, which claims to feature "rare Afrobeat" plus remixes by the likes of Paul Oakenfold and Way Out West. Volume two is a bit techno for us, but the first disc, featuring Honny and the Bees Band and the Yahoos, is rather good.
Chic hotel guide Mr & Mrs Smith has also just released its second album, Something for the Weekend, which it describes as "eclectic, yet unruly". Whatever. The compilation includes songs by artists like Black Grass, NERD and the Beta Band, so it sounds promising.
Meanwhile, at the Crowne Plaza you can now get the Sleep Advantage CD, which claims to be a "unique programme" put together by "sleep specialists" to "wash away stress". We found it a little scary, however.
However, it's not just fancy restaurants that are throwing out their tunes. The sounds of South African chicken chain Nando's can now be taken home along with the Peri-Peri wings courtesy of Nando's Chilli Grooves. The CD features 15 tracks of chilled Portuguese and Brazilian tunes.