A minute on the clock: Giles Coren
The Times restaurant critic Giles Coren has been a busy chap. On Sunday he cooked at the Too Many Critics dinner (full story opposite) and has been starring in Gordon Ramsay's new TV show The F Word. Emily Manson spoke to him
Why did you agree to do the dinner? They didn't ask me to perform at Live Aid, I'm not going to run a marathon, and I had nothing else to do. I've always said no before, because I don't pretend to be able to cook, but Bill [Knott] persuaded me to do something for charity.
What's your worst cooking disaster? I don't have one as I don't go into the kitchen at all. I think cookery is a mug's game. There are servants and masters in life and I'm a master - likewise my sewing, dusting and nappy changing are also very poor. I'm having my kitchen at home turned into a third bathroom as I've no use for it. Kitchens are places for wives and staff.
What will you be in charge of? I've no idea. I got sent a menu but I haven't read it. I think there's some recipe involving tomatoes, so I'll be in charge of opening tins of tomatoes, and I might pour the brandies as well.
Are you intimidated by any of the chefs you will be cooking for? No, I'm not intimidated by chefs because I've got a degree; the decision to go into catering is normally taken after failing your GCSEs.
You're starring with Ramsay in The F Word - what's your role? I'm totty for the people who don't like blonds, covering the brunette angle - but not so much smouldering as hairy. I've no idea
what I'm doing, but I'm doing it for the money. It's not so much selling my soul - I sold that when I became a journalist - but it's amazing
to sell it again. A second-hand soul, if you like, but it's amazing that you get more money for older rope.
Was it fun to make? Working with Gordon is obviously a privilege, but as Britain's number one restaurant critic, it's only right I should work with Britain's number one chef. There was clearly no one else they could have chosen.
What makes this different from other food programmes? Apart from me being in it, I don't know, because I don't watch TV or have a TV at home.
Will you be taking your top off alongside Gordon? No, that kind of competition's not fair on Gordon. I've got the ribbed torso of a professional footballer and Gordon's just a fat old chef. It's written into the contract I have to keep my top on.
Are you concerned about the reviews? I couldn't give a fuck what reviewers think about anything. Really, who cares what critics think? I am one and I know how it works - but I'm sure they'll be lovely to me.
