What's on the menu?
Crispy pig's trotter, fried quail's egg and fresh truffle to start. Then Marco Pierre White's tronçon of turbot with curry, sea scallops with garlic and girolles; Paul Heathcote's braised oxtail with tail fillet and root veg in dark ale and parsnip mash. And tarte tatin with home-made ice-cream made by our close friend Miranda Osborne - the best I've ever tasted. Cheese: our "truffled" Sharpham from Devon, blue Wensleydale, Mine-Gabhar, Coolea.
How about a cocktail?
Fraise Royale.
Where would we find you?
In God's Own Country [Yorkshire], which would be quite handy. To be precise, on top of the North Yorkshire moors surrounded by purple heather and low-flying grouse in the middle of summer.
How would you make your entrance?
In a hot-air balloon with my wife, Jacquie, and daughters, Daisy and Tilly.
Who'd be in the kitchen?
Paul Heathcote, Shaun Hill, Eugene McCoy, Steven Doherty, Rick Stein - they've all inspired me in various ways.
What about wine?
I'd have to have Andrew Firth of Playford Ros (our wine merchant) and Keith Floyd to serve their own choice of an excellent white Burgundy, and a big Aussie red: Grant Burge Meshach Old Vines.
Which 12 people would you invite?
Family, obviously. Also Eric Morcambe and Ernie Wise, Benny Hill (Hill's Angels would have to be waitressing), Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Denis Watkins, Morgan Freeman, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson, Elvis Presley, Liv Tyler, Cameron Diaz, Demi Moore. (The chefs would have to join us afterwards for a lager or two.)
How about some mood music?
Music from the film The Piano by Michael Nyman - played by Les Dawson. Then Bob Marley and the Wailers, and the Rolling Stones to finish.
What's the dress code?
Black tie for me - but I'd tell everyone else to come in fancy dress.
Who would you invite as your after-dinner speakers?
Michel and Albert Roux.
After-dinner drinks and things?
Double espresso, Chocolate Society truffles, little Eccles cakes and Gordon Ramsay's choc-ices, followed by aged Calvados.
Which of your dishes would you like to be remembered for?
Grilled black pudding with pan-fried foie gras, apple and vanilla chutney, scrumpy reduction.