Any volunteers to wash dishes?
Body sushi, in which diners eat Japanese food off the body of a naked woman, is the latest craze to grab the attention of the Hollywood A-list. It has been popularised by Hollywood celebrity chef Gary Arabia, whose body sushi evenings attract stars such as George Clooney, Harrison Ford, Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan.
As well as being beautiful (of course) and intelligent (er, why?), the human platter must not move, no matter how much she is poked with chopsticks, so this might preclude anyone ticklish from taking the job.
Unsurprisingly, body sushi has elicited protests from feminists who find the mode of service demeaning to women, but Arabia denies there is anything sleazy about paying £330 a head to eat raw fish off a nude woman. "This is a celebration," he said. "It is about the beauty of the food and the woman. This is not a bachelor-party experience."
At that price, it would have to be a wealthy bachelor...
Well, she did ask for home delivery
The Richmond Gate hotel, in the south-west London suburb, recently surpassed itself in the customer service stakes.
On arriving home from hospital to find the fridge bare, one of the hotel restaurant's elderly and somewhat eccentric regulars rang and suggested that chef might like to whip up a cheese omelette and have it delivered to her house a mile down the road.
Being an obliging sort of chap, and having some sympathy for her situation, but being exceptionally busy with a function for 50 in full flow, chef agreed to make her a smoked salmon salad that her husband could pop down to the hotel to collect.
The salad was duly prepared but, sadly, never collected. It would probably be wise if she found somewhere else to eat from now on.
Cuddle up with Wozza the Pooh
You've eaten in his restaurant, bought his book, seen him on TV - and now, for a mere £158, you can have your very own cuddly AWT.
Yes, toy manufacturer Merrythought has made an Antony Worrall Thompson teddy bear, complete with embroidered chef's jacket and necktie, and signed by the man himself.
Source: Caterer & Hotelkeeper magazine, 22 - 28 April 2004