The Caterer Blog

Gordon may be on to something here. Imagine the scenario if the government takes him up on his idea.

A new Department of Seasonal Produce or possibly a full blown Ministry of Fruit, Game & Vegetables, with a cabinet minister and oodles of civil servants producing reports and having meetings and forming committees.

Thousands of people could be removed from dole queues to staff this new government venture. Apart from the usual civil servants based in a large grey building in a new town, there would be a need for inspectors to visit restaurants. Obviously these inspectors would have to be trained in the culinary arts. (For instance, just how many people these days know when lamb is lamb and not hoggett?)

Training providers and devlopers would be needed; curricula would have to be developed; assessors and assessment centres would have to be found and paid for. Training would be needed not only for the thousands of inspectors required but also for the thousands of chefs who are not so familliar with traditional seasonal availabilty.

The multiplier effect on the economy of all these new jobs, new office spaces and training centres would create a huge surplus for the Treasury allowing them to revamp the NHS and still have enough to reduce the tax burden on lower income earners.

The legal industry too would have a windfall as legal firms would be inundated with appeals from restaurants claiming that apples for instance were traditionally stored for later use and therefore could reasonably be included on a menu in February.

Unfortunately for Gordon however, the British public having bent to the will of the anti-smoking lobby will not take this lying down. Underground cafes akin to Prohibition-era speakeasies will appear under the cover of darkness serving venison whenever they feel like it. Game smuggling will reach epic proportions and the price of quail will rocket. Young back packers will be hired as mules to return to Britain with chestnut filled condoms in their stomachs so that we can enjoy chestnut stuffing at Easter.

Of course, for every cloud with a silver lining some poor sucker will be struck by lightning. Importers of fruit and vegetables will obviously have to cease trading in illegal out-of-season produce. Food processing businesses will be forced to lay off staff as the demand for frozen and dried produce drops as hotels and restaurants begin to produce menus using only fresh, in-season produce.

Cafes, restaurants and hotels frequented by people more concerned with getting a hot, nourishing meal rather than having a 'meal experience' will close as they are forced to raise their prices in order to satisfy the licensing requirements of serving only seasonal produce.

Perhaps Gordon would like to lead the way and show those of us who cater for price sensitive clients how to achieve this utopian ideal and still make a profit. I look forward to seeing him do this on his next TV show and picking up some tips from the master.