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The stupid questions that London tourists ask

Far Side.jpgWith the economy in such turmoil, London's hotels, restaurants and bars are relying on custom from inbound tourists more than ever before.

Judging by these brainless questions asked by tourists at the City of London Information Centre, though, it's a wonder our foreign pals have the wit to book a hotel or get through the front door of a restaurant, in the first place:

1. How can I have tea with the Queen?

2. Could you recommend a good plastic surgeon?

3. Are there guided tours of M15?

4. When do the clowns come on at Piccadilly Circus?

5. What number in Oxford Street is Oxford University?

6. Where can I buy paraffin for my lamp?

7. What time does "evil song" start at St Paul's Cathedral?

8. Which side of the river is London Bridge on?

9. Where can I hire a banana boat?

10. Is it a long walk to Times Square?

11. Where abouts is the Eiffel Tower?

12. Which way to the beach?

13. When does Tower Bridge move?

14. Where can I see the buildings destroyed in the Second World War?

15. Where do the Spice Girls live?

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Comments (7)

An American gentleman called us once to ask if the Cotswolds would be open on a Monday.

Anonymous :

Love it, Peter! I used to work on a magazine called Computer Weekly, and was often asked how frequently it came out ...

James :

My father always tells a story of Japanese tourists coming to London and saying to him "We stay at the B&B hotel... do you know it". Hilarious!

Anonymous :

The Lonely Planet site (http://tinyurl.com/lsar8l) has some gems, such as:

"Carnaervon castle Wales
The Castle lawns are cut in traditional chequer board pattern. Said one American lady to another "How do they get their sheep to eat in such straight lines?"

Ben :


A favourite of mine is the American tourist who was visiting Windsor Castle and remarked: "This is an amazing place the Queen has here, but why did she want to build it so near the airport!".

Gemma Sharkey :

An American tourist once stopped me on Southbank to ask where "Millennium Ben" was. I couldn't stop laughing for ages.

Anonymous :

Millennium Ben - love it ... you could have fun mashing up London landmarks: Post Office Abbey; the O2 Cathedral; the Old Curiosity Eye...

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