Oh Wayne. Was tonight a lesson in how not to motivate your team?
This week's visit to the Damson Dene in Channel 4's The Hotel was a welcome return to the back-of-house,
Kitchen porter Kuba has been put in charge of the starters and desserts. He's also been chucking back the booze and shirking on his time-keeping.
No, that's not good behaviour from any member of staff and Satellite Dishes certainly doesn't condone it.
But when you consider he's been given more responsibility with no extra pay and he's miles from home and doesn't speak the language, could more have been done by the hotel management to develop Kuba rather than repeatedly discipline?
Hotel owner, the "suave" (the programme narrator's choice of word) Jonathan Denby was probably the young lad's saviour.
If Wayne had his way, Kuba would have been given his marching orders but in a bizarre twist of fate, Jonathan swanned in on the same day (quite by coincidence, you understand) to ask Kuba if he would be the drummer in his band.
Eh?
Front of house was a tale of two love stories, both equally cringeworthy.
Richard and Rebecca decided to spend their first night on their own for 14 months following the birth of their baby getting drunk. Actually, that doesn't even begin to describe the mess this pair descended into.
The Hotel is clearly designed to make you cringe, but the sight of these two slurring abuse and sweetnothings at each other in almost equal measure was unbearable. Had they already signed over permission for the footage to be shown or were they so trolleyed they couldn't remember quite how humiliating their behaviour was?
The other couple was Royal Navy engineer Simon and his hot Brazilian girlfriend Vanusa, who has not only never left Brazil before, but apparently never slept in a bed. He'd decided to take her on a tour of the UK in a bid to woo her into staying with him forever.
So he started at the Damson Dene before taking her to the delights that are Blackpool, Southsea, London, Paris (yes, not UK), Torquay and Wakefield.
No letters of complaint people, but seriously? Wakefield?
Despite the language barrier - she speaks virtually no English and his Spanish is limited - and Wakefield, the pair remained together and the programme post-script announced her pregnancy. Ah! Young love.
Next week the Damson Dene comes under attack apparently, with guests complaining about everything from the décor to the food and the housekeeping.
Satellite Dishes will be checking in to see how the staff copes.
* The Hotel airs on Sundays at 8.00pm on Channel 4
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